fearing dreams containing you…
afraid that I won’t see your face…
thinking “what if I do?”…."
I’ve been judged my entire life. Silently. Viciously. Behind my back and to my face. For things that were true and things that were false about me. Usually dealing with my past and present struggles with my mental health, which are the worst and hurt the worst.
I was broken up with today because of a judgement, a false impression.
But Today, I wasn’t judged for having a sleeping disorder. I wasn’t judged for having depression. I wasn’t judged for having anxiety. I wasn’t judged for struggling through and with life every single day and every single night of every single week.
Today, I wasn’t judged for taking the medication I need to live with these mental illnesses. I was judged specifically for the pill that allows my brain to healthily and slowly shut down at night so I can actually sleep AND prevents night terrors that at one point kept me awake for 6 days straight… The pill that a c t u a l l y works, when all others haven’t.
Today, I was judged for taking a pill.
He didn’t care to ask what they were or what they were for.
He did care what his friends thought of me poppin a pill.
But unlike other days when i give a fuck what people think of me,
Today, I’m strong enough to not give one. single. fuck. because I slept like a baby last night because of that pill.
"Do NOT let other peoples opinions of you define your opinion of yourself."
I’m all I got and I’m pretty great.
Fuck what other people say.
Just for today.
Does it bother anyone else that there are parts of your life you don’t remember? You have done and said things that you don’t even know about anymore. That means you don’t even have the right perception of yourself because you don’t even fully know who you are. However, something that you’ve forgotten about could be a prominent memory in somebody else’s mind. It trips me out.